Thursday, September 1, 2011

I amFurious..(do not read if you are upset by profanity..I am really angry)..

Some one please explain to me why the state of California allows an able-bodied man to go on General Relief..California tax dollars at work, and then order that his child support payment..which he hasn't paid in 6 years and as of today he is 33,000.00 in arrears, be dropped to zero!  he recently went on relief.....what is happening in this world! can't he collect cans,be a day laborer..anything!!
My daughter went to court today for this child support issue. my husband took her...he called a few minutes ago with this info and he was pissed!!  He had a COURT ORDER to pay..he never has...he has had a civil contempt charge place in 2008..his driving privileges have been taken away. If he had a DUI and a COURT Order to pay a fine and didn't..he'd be in jail. Why not with this court order? the court doesn't care of you don't have money to pay your DUI have to!! Why aren't ALL court orders enforced? Why do the tax payers have to help support children of deadbeat dads?I tell you all, I am so very angry at the child support system. these fucking asshole deadbeats can get away with not taking responsibility and NO ONE DOES ANYTHING!!! He doesn't choose to work,says he can't afford the minimum amt of child support(he would pay 1/2 of the bare minimum the state finds as POVERTY LEVEL!!!..), the general relief doesn't have to be used to feed his kids when he has them for visitation...WELL ,IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO PAY ANYTHING HOW CAN YOU AFFORD  TO HAVE THEM FOR VISITATION? IF YOU DON'T THINK YOUR KIDS ARE IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO DO ALL YOU CAN TO PROVIDE THE BARE MINIMUM FOR THEM..WHY SHOULD YOU GET TO HAVE THEM FOR COURT ORDERED VISITATION? If my daughter refused to take them..she would be in contempt of court and could face jail time!!!  ...why is one court order ok to ignore and others aren't?
AAAARRRGGGGHHHHHH....i want to kick the walls and throw stuff!!!1
I have gone broke supporting my grandchildren..(my daughter has a learning disability which prevents her from getting a job)....i gladly pay my daughters portion to support my grandkids..but why should I pay that fuckers half!!
that little fucker knows how the system works..he was raised on it!!! 
When are the taxpayers going to say enough is enough? Why do we have to pay for the able-bodied who don't?
I would hire an attorney for my daughter to try to get his visitation stopped..but I don't have the money...I'm supporting his kids!! They came home Sun from visitation hungry and granddaughter was told they couldn't afford milk for her,but they bought cigarettes and beer!!! She cereal and  chips only all grandson ate Top Ramen noodles. They were both so dehydrated  neither one pee'd  until monday..they got home to our house at 5 pm Sunday..both drank water,juice and milk all evening...never pee'd till the next day!!  But, the court says they have to go .
I am pissed off and feel so helpless against this system. I want to cry!!! 
Ok..I'm going to go cry! after that I'm am seriously going to think about sending bad Karma his way...a dark spell might be just the thing.
Please don't think I'm awful..I'm just tired of watching this lets the deadbeats, lazy and slothful people get by without taking responsibility...AND HE WANTS TO BE CALLED DAD...I WOULD LOVE TO BE ABLE TO TELL MY GRANDKIDS THAT THEY CAN CALL HIM A MOTHERFUCKING,LAZY,UNCARING ASSHOLE..but for now, I can't !!The court says ,in the court order, that no one can make a negative comment! Hah!! pretty funny...he doesn't have to follow the court order,but i can't call a lazy,no-good deadbeat a lazy,no-good deadbeat for fear of being hit with a  contempt of court and  fine for not following a court order..and you best believe that the court would make me pay..BECAUSE I'M NOT ON STATE RELIEF!!!


artistamyjo said...

Oh Ann, so sorry for all this. I do hope Savannah can hold it together,she's been doing so well.
If I could get away with it I'd shoot the B------ for you.
Lov & Hugs

Plush Possum Studio said...

My dear, this is just too too terrible for words. I am terribly sad for you and those children, along with the daughter you care for.
Don't shoot me for saying so, but what about a legal aid group? (you've probably already thought of everything, but it never hurts to ask) These kids are worth more to the system alive, but they are being underfunded into needing more help. That's criminal, if you ask me.
Meanwhile, their sperm donor gets off scott free. I'm appalled!!!!!
The courts need a real reckoning on what somebody owes society before deciding for or against the spending which ought better to be enforced.
Had I been there that day, I'd have had a REALLY tough time of it not shouting something negative at the judge and getting us ALL in contempt of court.
Bless you all, dear heart.

Ann said...

Amy..savannah is holding up well..we can go shoot him and you!! My only consolation in all this is that by the time the kids turn 18..I can leave the ginormous notebook I've kept..with all the court papers,his statements,the photos of the abuse Titus suffered while in his care,the doctor reports stating titus's bruises were as a result of abuse....then they can see it all. But,by then they surely will know what an asshole he is. I really want to call Dateline or 20/20 or the news and say..hey about an investigative report on the Child Support System!! xoxo

Ann said...

Rose..there is legal aid to help fill papers out. But,the legal system i guess,is the problem. How a person can just choose to not follow a court order,and get away with it, is beyond me!! It saddens me greatly that my grandchildren have had to go on partial state aid because I can no longer afford to completely support them. It is not fair for our tax dollars to go for this. The worst is that this poor-excuse for a man choose to stay at home and not work and let the state support him and his children. It is just wrong. xoxo
ps..seems contempt of court(which he was in all these years) means nothing!!..go ahead.. let's all yell!!! The judge did tell Savannah that although she personally did not agree with the law,there was nothing she could do. As long as he receives General Relief from the sate of california,they must drop his child support obligation to zero. They will ,however,continue to make him responsible for the back support of $33,000.00!! So, if he buys a lottery ticket with the taxpayers money..and wins..Savannah can get that. If he ever gets a job that is not "under the table" they can attach his wages and reopen the child support case to make him start paying again.
Is is wrong that I want to pray for his early death?!!..wrong that I'd like to ask for a Prayer Chain? !!!

Magic Love Crow said...

Ann, I am so sorry! Please, kick, yell, hit, do what you have to do! It's not fair! I see it all the time in Canada too and we get into some heavy duty discussions about it all the time. We even have young girls having kids, because they know all the money they can get from the government and they don't have to work. It pisses me off! These father's who don't give a shit and these young girls, who think it's so great! And, like you guys, it's us tax payers that are doing everything! I'm afraid for both our countries! I hope your daughter is ok! I'll do a voodoo spell with you! Maybe one that would make his, you know what fall off! That would be a good one! Hugs my friend, I am thinking of you, your daughter and your grand kids ;o)

Ann said... are a doll!! dual voodoo for me!!! I have done "a candle lighting" a few years back..had some effect,just not enough!! Guess I'd best get that candle fired up again!! I've always been of the opinion that certain people deserve to have bad sent their way..KARMA payback!!

Ellen said...

Dearest heart aches for you, your dear daughter and most of all your grandchildren. Is there anyway you could have proved that those babies were dehydrated? Isn't that a form of child abuse. If he don't pay he should not be allowed to see those children. Its not just California it is the system in the good old USA. I get so frustrated with the system or rather lack of. You are a great mom and grandmother. He will get his eventually. He needs a whipping by Dr Phil.
Hugs to you my friend

Ann said... trust in the system hear is practically zero!!! We had photos and physician statements that my grandson was abused while with his father..the judge DID NOT GRANT A PROTECTIVE ORDER..HE PUT IT ON CALENDAR FOR 2 WEEKS AFTER WE HAD BEEN IN COURT WITH THE EVIDENCE!!!!! He has "laughed in the courts face" since 2005...nothing is ever done. Who do you know that gets caught with a hot meth pipe,on the way home from SUPERVISED VISITATION DUE TO CHILD ABUSE(took over a month to get an order to keep him away from kids..up until then he had 50/50 custody!!!)..admitted it and got custody back less than a month after the incident,because he was "trying" !!! hah!!! Wish I knew how to change this system! Why is it you have to pass a test and pay insurance to drive a car..but to have the most precious gift of all..a child..all you have to do is sick it in and squirt!! test,no proof of financial ability. Are children less important than cars?
All i can do now is pray that he dies!!!!!

Mina said...

Oh Ann, I am so sorry to hear this. You are is inexcusable that he can be allowed to not support his own children and still be allowed visitation after abusing and neglecting them. It is so unfair. These days it seems the entire court system is backwards and they wonder why Americans don't trust or have faith in the government. I am so very, very sorry. He truly needs his ass kicked. Breathe deeply, my dear friend.

Ann said...

Mina..I would so truly love to kick his ass..or shoot it!!!! thanks honey..i'm trying to take a deep breath!!!....i'm just hoping he dies!!!..then all this will be done with!!!..i know,i'm a bad person for wanting this..but he doesn't deserve to have his kids or breathe the same air as I or any other self respecting,honest hard-working person.

orchid said...

Dear ANN,
At first, I thought I should not comment here because I cannot perfectly understand what you are saying. But I can understand you need to say whatever the loophole system have!!!
SO SORRY to hear the hardship your precious daughter and grandkids are experiencing.
(just frustrating for my lack of English ability and knowledge for the system)
Hugs xoxo, Orchid.

Geri Centonze said...

This is truly a horror story. I can't believe that they make your grandchildren visit him if he doesn't support them. There has to be someone who can right this wrong. Child protective services should be after him for the lack of proper hydration, food....what's wrong with this world?

Ann said...

Orchid..thank you for your kind and supportive words!!! Your knowledge of the English language is know more languages than I do..I only know English!!! xox

Ann said...

Geri, the system sucks. Child Protective services came when my grandson was abused..even with physician documentation that his bruises were child abuse and the report from child Protective services and an ex-parte request from a judge(I have spent about $30,000.00 in legal fees over the last 6 years!!)for a temp. order to prevent t him from having visitation..the judge did not!!!! Put the case on calender for a future date!!! The system does not work to protect the spends more time protecting the rights of deadbeat parents...child visitation is not dependent on child support in California......go figure..a parent can say" can't pay child support 'cause I don't work and the state is paying my way.",..and the court says, ok,you don't work and are on STATE AID so no child support!! Now..he's fully capable of disability except for my opinion from previous knowlege..drug use!! Employers test..guess he can't pass. that,or he's just to lazy!!!
I no longer trust the's let my grandbabies down. The courts are overcrowded with these is sad...what happens when i can't afford to cover what he doesn't pay?why should I..i cover my daughters and that's ok. But, that ass is not my son!! there are signs all of my town where they are accepting applications for work...guess he has a reason for not filling one out!!!! i guess he figures why work if the state will give me money.This is why California is broke!!..we give benefits to able-bodied people,who can work but choose not to!!
thanks so much for your supportive words...I feel so helpless,angry and frustrated!!

Phivos Nicolaides said...

So sad to hear thissimbok

Ann said...


whymsicalmusings said...

OH MY GOSH I FEEL YOUR PAIN! I have a dead beat ex Son in Law too! If my Dear hubby and I weren't around his children would be out on the streets. We often pay for school supplies necessaties ect. Our daughter works for us because she needs to be available for her son all of the time. Believe it or not her ex is in the Military! We have fought for him to pay his support for 5 years! Oklahoma is as stupid as California! The sad thing is all of these children are the ones that really suffer. My Grandson is high functioning autistic and also has mild Bi Ploar disorder he has so many dr's appt's ect. My daughter sold her vehicle to pay her rent recently she brought the money over to keep here so if he doesn't pay she can pull some of it out of the safe. She now is driving one of our vehicles which we put gas in and he is driving a brand new 2011 fully decked out Chevy Tahoe! I am so glad we are able to help but it has been hard for all of us. He has 4 children 2 of them are my grandchildren the other 2 are with diffrent women and he may have another on the way just waiting for the DNA Testing. He does work but my Daughter has NEVER and I MEAN NEVER gotten a full child support check! He pays just enough to stay out of jail. She had the support lowered to the lowest the state would allow becuase her housing depends on what she makes. She has to claim his child support even though he doesn't pay it most of the time and they know it! In fact in the last 2 years he is behind on his payments $12,000 dollars! He made $95,000 dollars last year between the military pay and his oil field job.(Oklahoma only allows you to draw off of one check so she only gets a portion of his oilfield pay..the girl he cheated on her with that is the mother of one of his children gets more becuase he was still married to my daughter when she applied for it my daughter didn't even know he had another child she gets a less amount for 2 children becuase she filed 2nd not first!) He is in the reserves.... and couldn't even help buy the kids school supplies this year. Sometimes I HATE HIM!
Thanks for venting it lets me feel we are really much closer than we thought:)

Ann said...

I hear you Becky!! Savannah has never gotten child was ordered but he NEVER paid a penny!!!We have paid everything. My son helped pay for school supplies last year because we didn't have enough money(had a BIG broken pipe repair that took all our extra cash!)...I don't know why the tax paying citizens of the US can't bring a huge class action lawsuit!!
You are welcome to vent to me anytime!! I think i should start a vent blog for all of us who are in this same boat!!!! Maybe some kind hearted attorney will see it and say..hey,let me help you..this sucks!!! I live on comes from MY EARNINGS OVER THE YEARS..but,it doesn't cover all meds,glasses or dental at 100%..I'd pay at least 50% after the deductable..He gets all that for free!!!! while he is on general relief!!! fine state when those who have worked don't get the same as those who never have,and are getting it on my tax dollars!! the system is fucked -up!!!
love you honey!!!!!!
let's start a bitch blog!!!! i know i feel better having shared this!!

Beadwright said...

Ann you know I am with you on all counts. Now for all of you who have commented that you can't believe this is happening. Hold on to your pants. I was born and raised in CA. Had two kids and an AHole husband. Finally after years of abuse I got out and divorced him. He was court ordered to pay $125.00 a month for two kids. He NEVER paid a dime!!! Said he was broke couldn't find a job. hmmmm sounds like Ann's Ahole. I to had to send my kids to him every weekend.
The details are so closely related. I never did get any money even after going to court many times. I finally had to leave the state to get away from him. Ready for this???
This was in 1973/74/ So CA has been allowing dead beat dads to get away with this crap for a very long time.

Ann said...

Nicole..I have contacted every congress person for the state of Calif...I have started from the lowest on the government ladder,all the way to the top. "write a letter"..I do..nothing happens. I tried the ACLU..figured their Civil Rights were being ignored..tried to take anyone and everyone to court..NO LUCK!! THEY JUST PASS THE BUCK!!! If we take the kids out of state.we will be arrested for kidnapping..gotta have the ok of this deadbeat!!

Barb said...

Ann... I am on YOUR side! I have much the same situation here...a GD who NEVER gets the support her father was ordered to pay! He just moves around the country so he can't be found whilst my hubby and I support my daughter and child.

This is nothing first and second husbands did the same to me....luckily I had the internal fortitude to find ways to earn money to support us all.
Our system here does not work either altho' they have tried many ways. Even the threat of jail does not scare the shite outa these male bastards!But what really gets my gall up is that the sods come back into the child's life after they have reached the age of not needing support!
I think ALL of that species ( scum-bag sires) should be found and castrated...
slowly...without anaesthetic!!!!
But know are the better person over-all!

Ann said...

Barb..thanks so much for your comment..I'm with you, no anesthetic and could i please be the one!!!..actually,instead of cutting it all the way off..i'd like to cut halfway through it..then tie something around it and the car bumper..then hit the gas and rip it off!!! woo-hoo!!! then,let him bleed to death!!1ah..the tings that dreams are made of!!! :)

Trishia said...

Ann, sending a big hug your way!!!! And if it's possible to send bad karma to motherfucking assholes who buy beer and cigs instead of nutritional food for their kids -- I'm right behind you with the voodoo doll, stick pins and matches!!!

Ann said...

Trishia..thank you!! I love your "eloquence"..seems we both appreciate the finer points of the english language!!! thanks for being angry too!!! I knew you were a woman after my own heart!! :) xo